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Losing sight of what is important in a divorce can be costly

by | Feb 16, 2014 | Divorce

When a Pennsylvania couple is at the end of their marriage, the relationship has often deteriorated to the point where the parties are, at least initially, unable to get along. If the couple is not careful, the divorce proceedings can quickly become a battleground. A couple may spend a substantial amount of time and money arguing with each other and can quickly lose sight of what is important.

The financial cost of a court battle can quickly add up, diminishing any assets the individuals could have used to start their new lives apart. The emotional cost can be even more devastating in the end. Looking back instead of forward takes its toll not only on the couple, but on any children involved as well. Sadly, the pain of divorce can sometimes blind parents and keep them from focusing on making the transition easier for their children.

In any other situation, neither parent would ever consider using the children as pawns. Unfortunately, when it comes to divorce, people sometimes become determined to hurt the other party no matter what the cost. It does not have to be this way, however. Putting aside the hurt, anger and resentment may seem impossible at first, but many Pennsylvania couples do it — typically by focusing on the children.

The end of a marriage is a loss, and the emotions that go with it do need to be dealt with, but a courtroom is rarely the place to do it. Instead, it may be more useful to refocus that energy into accomplishing what is necessary to ensure that the children get through the divorce process unscathed. A child custody agreement can be as inclusive as needed to make that happen. The efforts a couple puts into negotiating a divorce settlement can help establish a post-divorce relationship that benefits everyone. Parents can discuss and document as many eventualities as possible to minimize the amount of potential confrontation in the future.

Source: The Huffington Post, 5 Dumb Mistakes Dads Make During Divorce and How to Avoid Them, B. Robert Farzad, Feb. 13, 2014