Much is written about the benefits of civil co-parenting for former spouses. Of course, that assumes that the former spouses can achieve that level of communication and cooperation between them.
Divorce and be incredibly damaging to one or both spouses. Especially when infidelity or another type of betrayal, e.g., financial sabotage, was the catalyst for the divorce, it can be quite challenging to mend those rifts.
What is parallel parenting?
This concept of parallel parenting focuses on both parents remaining detached from one another yet well-connected with the children they share. The parents can agree to make major decisions with both parents’ input while independently dealing with the issues that crop up in daily parenting.
How it can play out
If you went through a high-conflict divorce, simply the thought of contacting your former cheating spouse may make you recoil. However, if they need to be made aware of a change in Johnny’s orthodontic appointment or that Jenny has cheerleading tryouts next week, this information still must be exchanged.
Parenting journals, either actual or virtual online can serve as a neutral medium for communication solely about your children and their needs. Taking this step spares the former partners the back-and-forth exchange of multiple text messages, emails or phone calls. Simply write down the facts and let the other parent read it and comment when necessary.
Would parallel parenting work for you?
It’s not the ideal option, but for those parents who are struggling to communicate civilly with one another, it’s a start. Often, as time passes and emotions die down, what began as parallel parenting evolves into a less combative type of shared parenting.
