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3 tips for handling a narcissistic spouse during divorce

On Behalf of | Jan 8, 2021 | Divorce

If you are married to a narcissist, then you may already know that your divorce is going to be tough. People with this behavior disorder may be angry or dismiss the idea that you want to get a divorce, which is problematic. They may initially attempt to pacify you, only to lash out later when they realize that you don’t want to continue your marriage.

It’s a good idea to know what to expect if you’re divorcing a narcissist, so you can prepare. Here are three tips to handle your spouse’s behaviors during your divorce.

  1. Be ready to fight for what you need and defend yourself

The first thing you need to know is that your spouse is going to want to win. In their mind, they’re always the winner. They may go as far as to manipulate the truth or make up stories to make you look bad. Always have good documentation about your claims, like saying your spouse cheated, and be ready to defend yourself against accusations, too.

  1. Take your emotions out of the equation

Though it isn’t good to think of your divorce as a war, you do need to put on your business face and deal with it with as little emotion as possible. Narcissists generally have impaired empathy, so trying to appeal to their better side won’t help you. It’s better for you to minimize your own emotional involvement.

  1. Be prepared for court

Many narcissists won’t settle outside court, because dragging you through the process keeps you connected to them. Be ready to go to court, and be prepared to defend yourself, your claims, and your needs and wants.

Handling a narcissistic spouse can be tough, but good preparation can make a difference in the outcome of your case.

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