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Divorcing when your partner is on the spectrum

If you are a neurotypical spouse seeking a divorce from a spouse who is on the autism spectrum, you may already understand that it could be quite a rough ride. Just as in your marriage, there will likely be concepts that your spouse with Asperger’s just does not “get” in the traditional manner.

What this can mean for you and the divorce process is that the two of you may have to think outside the box and derive workable solutions for the issues that must be resolved.

Custody could be your biggest hurdle

Even if you found that your spouse was lacking as a partner, chances are good that they were still a great parent to the kids. Enduring separations from their children is often quite hard for non-neurotypical parents to accept. If there are ongoing conflicts, it may be helpful to frame those incidents as part of your spouse’s disability rather than as an intent to subvert your parenting efforts.

Therapy may help both parties during divorce

It is understandable that your spouse may need considerable help from their doctor and therapist to accept the terms of the divorce — as well as your new boundaries. What you might not immediately realize, however, is the need that you will have for a supportive counselor who can help you over the biggest hurdles.

Either your primary care physician or your divorce attorney may be able to recommend a counselor whom you can see to help you during this stressful time. By working closely with your attorney, you can achieve parity with your spouse in your divorce.

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